Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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