Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Enjoy the penises
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize