new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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