I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hippo gnu deer
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
