you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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