I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
