is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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