I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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