the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
