soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just found puke in my bra..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
