I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
