Kiss
Puke
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
