I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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