forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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