I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Shame - the story of my life.
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