all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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