oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
