the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
