he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
