I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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