Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize