Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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