I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
