i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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