isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
