I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
