i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
