so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
