Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
