Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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