So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
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