I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
