Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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