so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
