Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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