yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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