My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
