So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
