i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
