If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
