at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
