Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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