I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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