btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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