Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
