it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
