It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
