I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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