We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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