Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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