nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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