my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
