so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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