Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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