matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
