I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
